Act 2, Scene 2: Sherlock Scoob

RATS Setup

TECH PREROLL

LX 0099 - Work Light OFF (Static Playbacks)

LX 1300 - STANDBY for GO:

Check Levels
Unmute Desk

Lynard: ON

Eisfuchs: OFF
Curry: OFF
Runo: OFF
Pan: OFF

DIALOG

AMB-2201 - Boring Room Tone

Curtain - open

Dim emergency lights on

Scoobie tries to escape from the transport box in [2, 2nd] (Stunt-Scoobie is inside)

Scoobie jumps inside the transport box, trying to rock it off the table

RATS-3 - Scoobie Jump

Scoobie jumps inside the transport box

Scoobie: "Gniie!"

The transport box jumps a little, too, moving closer to the edge of the table

Scoobie jumps again

RATS-3 - Scoobie Jump

Scoobie: "Hukkk!"

The transport box jumps a little, too, moving closer to the edge of the table

Scoobie: "Hrrr!"

Repeat until edge of table is reached, and half of the transport boxis now dangerously hanging in thin air

RATS-3 - Scoobie Jump

The transport box sways a little. It's delicately balanced.

Scoobie: "Ahaaa!"

Scoobie leans to one side

The transport box tilts slowly

SND-2201 - Knarrrrzt

Scoobie: "Uh oh ... oh ... ohhhh..."

The transport box falls off the table

Scoobie: "Waaaaaaaah!"

SND-2202 - Crash!

Throw a detached cage door upwards from below (so the audience can see the transport box broke)

Scoobie emerges from below, shaking the dust off

Scoobie: "Ha-haaaa!"

Scoobie sticks her tongue out at the broken transport box

Scoobie: "Phpthptphpthpthptphtphptpthp!"

Scoobie begins to scurry around, and sniff all the things, trying to find out where Honey went

Scoobie finds a lead

Scoobie approaches the door in [1], jumps up, and bites into the door handle

Scoobie now just hangs there

Scoobie tries to wiggle around, trying to turn the handle, but fails

Scoobie lets go of the door handle, landing on the floor

Scoobie spits. Door handles taste yucky. Pah!

Scoobie: "Grrrrrrrrr!"

Scoobie takes a run-up and jumps against the door

SND-2203 - Cartoon Impact

Scoobie: "Ooof!"

The door doesn't budge

Scoobie is angry

Scoobie: "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Scoobie grabs a chair from [7] and tries using it as a battering ram

Scoobie runs all across the stage towards the door

Scoobie: "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Scoobie hits the door, and the chair disintegrates in a funny way

SND-2204 - Disintegrating Chair

Scoobie: "Grrr! GRRRR! GRRR!"

Scoobie runs off the stage in [7]

The clothesline moves, and the shirt moves out of view to the side.

RATS-2 - Squeak

Scoobie (Stunt-Scoobie) rides in from [7] hanging on to the shirt, using the clothesline like a zipline

SND-2205 - Zipline

Scoobie lets out a Tarzan call. AAAAAIAAIIAAAAAAAA!

Scoobie crashes into the door, letting go of the shirt (alternative: the shirt comes off the clothesline with Scoobie attached)

SND-2206 - Kaboing

Scoobie dramatic pause

Scoobie slides down the door slowly, cartoon style

SND-2206 - Squeeeeeeeeeeeech

Scoobie: "Hrrrnngnnsnnnnnn ..."

SND-2207 - Sounds of steps in the hallway

Scoobie sits up like a meerkat, listening nervously

Scoobie needs to hide, quick!

Scoobie looks around

Scoobie sees a lamp with a classic lamp shade on the table

Scoobie jumps on the table

Scoobie pushes the lamp off the table, crashing with the lamp into the floor

SND-2208 - Shatter!

Scoobie climbs back on the table, with the lamp shade on her head

Scoobie freezes. Scoobie is now the lamp. Her tail dangles down in front of the table.

trapdoor open

SND-2208-A - Trapdoor Open

Eisfuchs: ON

Marconi comes in through his portable maintenance hatch (trapdoor) in [5]

trapdoor close

SND-2208-B - Trapdoor Close

Marconi: "Honey? Honey, are you there?"

Marconi briefly waits for an answer.

Marconi (to himself): "No one home, just like I thought. But if she's not here, where is she? Let's see if we can find some clues."

Marconi bumps into an invisible object

SND-2209 - Sound of an invisible object

Marconi: "Ouch! God dammit, why does it have to be so dark in here!"

Marconi walks over to the table, and pulls Scoobie's tail

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

Scoobie-Lamp lights up

Marconi: "Ah, better."

Marconi walks a few steps into the room, then startles, and turns around

Marconi: "Wait, what? How does that even work without power?"

Marconi walks back

Marconi pulls Scoobie's tail again

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

Scoobie-Lamp turns off

Marconi: "Hmmmm ..."

Marconi pulls Scoobie's tail repeatedly

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

RATS-1 - Ka-KLICK

Scoobie: "eek eek eek eek eek"

Nothing happens. Scoobie-Lamp stays turned off.

Marconi: "Yeah, I thought so. I reaaaally need to cut down on those cave mushrooms."

Marconi produces a classic electric hand torch

Marconi begins to search the room for clues

Marconi sees Honeyberry's voice recording crystal glowing in the dark

Marconi: "Hmmm... Honey's voice crystal - why would she leave it behind? Now how does this work again ..."

SND-2210 - Tinny computer voice: "Start Playback".

Marconi: "Aha!"

SND-2210 (cont.) - Honeyberry: "Hey Hawking. Guess who switched your lights off! Yup, that's me. My new friend Marconi has opened my eyes. Your people have been slaves for long enough. Step down. Let your people go. Or are you going to wait until they run out of air to breathe and take matters into their own hands? We are the new resistance. It's too late to stop us. Now do what is right. Honey out."

SND-2210 - Tinny computer voice: "End of Playback".

Marconi: "Weird. That's totally not like her. Why would a blind person say something like [EMOJI_AIRQUOTES] He Opened my eyes [EMOJI_AIRQUOTES]? And she would never refer to herself as 'Honey'. She hates being called 'Honey', unless maybe when you're a really close friend. What kind of game is being played here? Did Blackwood force her to say this? And where the hell did he take her?"

Marconi pushes the record button

SND-2211 - Tinny computer voice: "Start Recording".

Marconi: "Hey you bloody asshole! If you dare to harm even a single hair on Honeyberry's tail, I'm going to dip your balls in chocolate and drop you into a nest of rabid Fleshrippers. Sincerely go fuck yourself, Marconi."

SND-2212 - Tinny computer voice: "End Recording".

Scoobie has to sneeze. She tries to suppress it.

Scoobie: "*sniff sniff* Haa ... haaa ... HCKN!"

Marconi: "Wha...?"

Marconi swerves the torch around at Scoobie

Scoobie freezes and becomes the lamp again

Marconi: "I could have sworn I heard something."

Marconi walks away from the table searching the room

Scoobie (loud): "HAAAA-TCHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!111!!"

The lamp shade flies upwards like a rocket (while lighting up)

Marconi turns around again, catching Scoobie right in the light cone of his torch

Marconi: "A-HA!"

Scoobie: "EEEEEEEEeks!"

Scoobie turns left and right, looking for an escape route, then just drops to the table, playing dead

Scoobie: "*röchel*"

Marconi: "*sighs* I know you're not dead, Scoobie. Predators have evolved, you know? We don't fall for that trick any more."

Marconi walks towards the table

Marconi tickles Scoobie's feet

Scoobie twitches, but still play dead.

Marconi pulls Scoobie around a bit by her tail

Marconi: "Okay. I get it. That's fine. I respect you. Dead possums are just as valid as living ones."

Marconi walks over to the bed in [7, 2nd] and sits down on the blanket

Marconi: "But I guess that means I have to eat this [EMOJI_AIRQUOTES] delicious Bonechiller sausage [EMOJI_AIRQUOTES] all on my own now."

Marconi produces a remarkably huge sausage, and begins to chew on it

Scoobie secretly glances at Marconi and the sausage

Marconi: "Mmmmmmmm, this is sooo good. Everything tastes better when it's stolen!"

Scoobie: "*soft whimper*"

Marconi: "nom nom nom"

Scoobie tries to keep still, but the urge for food becomes stronger and stronger

Scoobie: "Meeeep! Meep! Meeep! Meeeep!"

Scoobie runs up to Marconi [7] and begs

Marconi: "Oh. Look who's back from the dead! I can't be such a bad guy if I have food, right? There ya go. "

Marconi hands the sausage to Scoobie

Scoobie immediately takes it to the table, and begins to devour it with great enthusiasm.

Scoobie: "*munch* *munch*"

Marconi walks up to Scoobie

Scoobie turns around and defends the sausage

Scoobie: "HISSSSSSS!"

Marconi: "Don't worry, the sausage is all yours! I don't want it back! But say, do YOU believe any of this?"

Scoobie turns around, looks at the crystal, vigorously shakes her head, and continues to eat

Scoobie: "Uh uh!"

Marconi: "Yeah, me neither. Do you think you could sniff out where Blackwood took your momma? We have to make sure nothing bad is gonna happen to her!"

Scoobie swallows the last piece of sausage, and burps

Scoobie stands up and does a military salute

Marconi: "Awesome! Then let's waste no time! This way little one!"

Marconi opens the trapdoor in [5]

SND-2213 - Open Hatch

Scoobie: "Yipeeeeee!"

Scoobie jumps in

Marconi: "Who needs a bloodhound when you've got a Scoobie!"

Marconi climbs down, and closes the trapdoor behind him

SND-2214 - Close Hatch

Lynard: OFF
Eisfuchs: OFF

Curry: ON
Runo: ON
Pan: ON

Silverclaw and Hawking enter through the official door [1]

Open Door

SND-2215 - Open Door

Close Door

SND-2216 - Close Door

Blackwood: "When I came back after the ceremony to check on her, she was gone, and all she left was her voice recorder ..."

Blackwood points at the crystal on the table

Hawking takes the crystal

SND-2217 - Tinny computer voice: "Start Playback".

SND-2217 (cont.) - Honeyberry: "Hey Hawking. Guess who switched your lights off! Yup, that's me. My new friend Marconi has opened my eyes. Your people have been slaves for long enough. Step down. Let your people go. Or are you going to wait until they run out of air to breathe and take matters into their own hands? We are the new resistance. It's too late to stop us. Now do what is right. Honey out."

SND-2217 (cont.) - Tinny computer voice: "End Playback".

Blackwood: "I don't know what to say. She's always been my best student!"

Hawking: "Is it possible to undo what she did?"

Blackwood: "I wish I knew. She's the expert on electricity, not me."

Hawking: "Then we have to find and question her."

Blackwood: "If she's even still alive."

Hawking: "Why wouldn't she?"

Blackwood: "It's pretty cold outside!"

Hawking: "What makes you think she's outside? If she's with Marconi, she could be anywhere. Can you play the message again?"

Blackwood: "Sure."

Blackwood presses the button on the crystal

SND-2218 - Tinny computer voice: "Start Playback"

SND-2218 (cont.) - Marconi: "Hey you bloody asshole! If you dare to harm even a single hair on Honeyberry's tail, I'm going to dip your balls in chocolate and drop you into a nest of rabid Fleshrippers. Sincerely go fuck yourself, Marconi."

SND-2218 (cont.) - Tinny computer voice: "End Playback"

Blackwood (genuinely shocked): "Wha ... that wasn't on there half an hour ago ... "

Hawking laughs out loud

Hawking: "Yes, that's Marconi for you. I bet the whole thing was his idea. To him, everything is a conspiracy. And if he's in cahoots with Honeyberry, it will be very easy to find them. His Shepherd's Reins will tell us exactly where they are. I'll send out a party tomorrow, as soon as the storm has passed. I know all of Marconi's hiding spots, including those he thinks I don't know."

Blackwood: "In case you still want to evacuate, my offer stands. My ship, the Stormbreaker is yours if you need it. I owe it to you."

Hawking: "I'm quite positive we'll be able to hunt them down, and then, they're going to pay dearly for what they've done. See you tomorrow."

Blackwood: "Yes. See you tomorrow."

Hawking leaves to [1]

Open Door

SND-2219 - Open Door

Close Door

SND-2220 - Close Door

Blackwood: "STINKWORM FARTS AND PIGRAT DUNG"

Silverclaw: "You like talking yourself into trouble, don't you?"

Blackwood: "It's not over yet. Time for you to prove how tough of an adventurer you really are."

Silverclaw: "What do you mean?"

Blackwood: "Marconi knows what I'm up to, and he's got the possum. If we don't act fast, he might find Honeyberry before she had her little accident."

Silverclaw (to herself): "That's what you get for being a pussy!"

Blackwood: "Maybe I'm just not as coldblooded a murderer!"

Silverclaw: "Oh for the Mountain's sake, Blackwood! Dropping a blind girl in a snowstorm just because you're too much of a coward to pull the trigger on her doesn't magically turn the whole thing into an accident! You're just as much of a murderer as if you had finished her off right there! You'd just be a lot more certain she's actually dead!"

Blackwood: "It was supposed to look like she got lost in the snow, not like a crime scene! How should I have known Marconi would get so attached to her!"

Silverclaw: "How about ... BY LOOKING AT THEM? And why did you have to keep the bloody rodent?"

Blackwood: "Because it's cute, and you can't just kill cute things ..."

Silverclaw: "Oh, but genocide on the other hand, that's just fine and dandy, am I right?"

Blackwood: "Will you shut up if I pay you double?"

Silverclaw: "No. And if you want me to risk my ass to fix your stupid plan, you'll have to pay a lot more than that."

Blackwood: "Triple."

Silverclaw: "No."

Blackwood: "Quadruple."

Silverclaw: "Okay, fine, one last time. I'll help you find them, but don't expect me to finish them off for you."

Blackwood: "Good. Let's go."

AMB-2201 FADE

Lights out

Curtain - close